he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
