I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
