I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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