So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize