so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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