There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
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Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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