Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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