How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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