I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
