Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
