Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
