you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
