dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
