Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
