only you would photoshop your dick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
