They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
