these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
