i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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