Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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