you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
