dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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