I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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