New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
