Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
