you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There r osticjed everywhere
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
