i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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