is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
