You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
