you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
