Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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