This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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