It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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