And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you will always have a special place in my vag
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
