please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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