Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
