Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
