Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
