Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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