Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
