She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
