How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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