textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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