i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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