do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I wish there were birth control emojis
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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