i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
