A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
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I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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