Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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