Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
