What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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