Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
