What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
