Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
cat food counts as protein by the way
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
