kristin has been a bad kristin
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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