I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
