just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We're too hungover to prance.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
