so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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