i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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