She said her name was "party"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
