haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
worst night to have a conscience
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize