Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize