Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
