you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
