All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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