ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
