Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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