his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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