i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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