There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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