You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
